Stay at home with kids or work?
Hi, it may be my biological clock, but have lately been plagued by trying to find the solution to my issue of staying home or working. Please note my husband and I dont have kids yet but we are hoping to soon. My husband works but does not make enough to pay all the bills. I make enough to cover the other half of the bills working full time. I do not want to work full time when i have kids, but I am afraid that I wont be able to afford bills and part time child care. Just curious to know how some other couples did it and why they made the decision that they did.
Betha
You are/were me! I feel surrounded by stay-at-home moms but I had to continue working full-time to pay the bills. You can maybe work out, if your employer is flexible, a way to maybe work one day from home or reduce your hours, if you can afford to. I was lucky enough to have flexible hours.
I had a four-month-paid maternity leave, reduced income, and put DD in daycare at six months. She absolutely thrived.
Unemployed now but knowing I have to return to work sucks.
You gotta do what you gotta do. This is New Jersey. High cost of living :-( but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy your kid(s).
ess 
Hmm, thanks for the advice. Yes plan A would be to work from home part of the week and do child care acouple days and go into the office acouple days. But that is of course if my work is flexible and I dont know if they will be. So i guess i need to cook up a plan B just in case they wont compromise!
Betha -
Just a comment about working from home with a baby / small child. My experience is that until the child reaches a certain age (generally school age) you will not be effective at doing both parenting and working from home at the same time.
Even if your company supports telecommuting, you will need a childcare plan of action to support. The telecommuting will help reduce the commute time, but it is next to impossible to do both working and childcare for a young child at the same time.
I am just recalling the days that I attempted it because the child was not well.
I now have a position where I can telecommute 50% of the time, however, my child is in school and it is only 2 days a week that she comes home on the bus and is in the house for 2 hours before the end of my work day. She is also mature enough to know that mommy is working.
Coralie I decided to stay home, once both kids are in school I will go back to work for the rest of my life haha. Its very hard financially but if you think about its only 5 years that goes by so fast and then theyre in school.
You can survive on one. But you must know the difference between want something and need something. And no car that is a big bill. We had electric, phone, Insureace for house and car. And the car was paid off. I had no car. No credit card bills. But I had the best life. But I gave up a lot for the best life.
riverat I am a stay at home mom. With everything going on in this world today, I don't want someone else watching my child. I saw a show about this dilemma a while back. They took everything into consideration, gas, insurance, child care, food, taxes, etc., and after everything was added up, it was costing the family "more" for the mother to work then she was bringing in. They deduced that unless you are a high income earner, it does not pay to work.
EM Yes i dont earn alot, so i do believe it would cost more. My goal before kids is to pay off our cars and credit card bills. At that point i think things would make more sense.
I applaud your honesty and your sincerity. It's not easy in this current economy. I wish you all success.
Riverrat: Some people can't survive on one salary. Some people just don't get paid a lot in their respective industriest. I do know the difference between a need and a want, thank you! We live frugally. It is, what it is. One thing I loathe, is being lectured like a well, child!
i stay at home too and work per diem at a hospital to make some extra cash. I will have to return to work when my kids are in school if I ever want to retire:) As a counselor, I believe we are the lowest paid people with college degrees. Daycare and commuting costs would cost more then I made full time. At first it was really tough, I had a strict food budget, gas was $4/gallon so I was stuck at home most of the time. Gradually I got the per diem job and my hubby got cost of living raises and we still live frugally but are ok. We planned on me not having an income when buying a house so didn't include my salary in a mortage payment. Both of our cars are preowned and we have no car payments. I don't know if any of this stuff is an option for you but it is a tough decison. Do you have a relative that would babysit for free 2 days a week and then you only have to pay for daycare 3 days. Look for people that sit in their homes, they may be less expensive, just make sure they have a state license. I have a degree but for a little while I waitressed at night just to make ends meet, so if you could do something like that, it would enable you to pay some bills and be home most of the day.
old timer Hmm, thanks old timer. Right now I dont have the option of a relative watching my children, but possibly in afew years when my mother in law retires. Unfortunately my husband and I bought our house based on both of our salaries, when the idea of kids was very far off our radar. So i still have some work to do to get us out of debts and i am trying to get my current job in a position to be flexible when I do have children. But if some how I could afford to stay home I would always have a part time job of some sort for extra income.
hospitals and group homes use per diem workers...u can pick when you want to work. If u have a BA in a social service field u can be a counselor per diem. group homes don't always required that BA.
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